Canasian & Friends

Okay, we're going to make a move.

2008-07-14T19:55:00.002-06:00

It's been like 4 wonderful completely random years on this blog, and it's been enjoyable every moment of the way, but I'm growing up, and my blog needs to grow up too (just a little).

So I'm calling - NEW BLOG - and I'm actually going to write things on it.

Canasian.

Barack Obama Campaign Theme Song

2008-01-30T03:29:00.000-07:00

Look Around You - Episode 01 - Maths

2007-09-22T11:42:00.001-06:00

Okay, I knew that the british were funny, but the BBC? I guess they're british too.

2007-09-20T00:40:00.001-06:00

Nintendo Sex Ed

2007-07-23T12:44:00.000-06:00

God help us all.

John McClane's wifebeater is officially an American treasure

2007-06-29T15:55:00.000-06:00

Die Hard: The Greatest Action Movie of All Time.

the best of weird, weird music videos

2007-06-05T23:45:00.000-06:00

From Ok Goish bizarre hilarity to the mind bogglingly strange to the amazingly beautiful (but enough about me.) Enjoy.

1) Danielson - Did I Step on Your Trumpet?

2) Subtle - FKO

3) Supercar - Wonderword

4) Sole - Salt on Everything

5) Hot Chip - Boy From School

Gold star for whoever spots Sufjan Stevens.

CAPTION CONTEST 2.0!

2007-05-21T02:05:00.001-06:00

Well shoot. It's about danged time someone posted something on this here blog, and that something'd better be worthwhile. So I connected those two trains of thought and had another caption contest. Let's see who still checks this place on a regular basis...

photoshops worth seeing

2007-03-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

Yes!

2007-02-13T17:44:00.001-07:00

77%!

New Caption Contest! Yee-yuh.

2007-02-13T17:22:00.000-07:00

Oh baby. Check the post below to see if you're a man, and check this one to see if you have a sense of humor. Bring it kiddos. That's right. I called you kiddos.

Attention Inexperienced Guys

2007-02-07T18:27:00.000-07:00

Here's a test (endorsed by Bruce Campbell, so you know it's good) to check your manliness. I got a 70. And apparently that makes me kind of a sissy even though I totally rocked the geography portion!

EuroTrip Keeps On Truckin'

2007-01-31T23:43:00.000-07:00

Hey folks! Sorry it took me forever to post this, but our Internet has been having problems the last few weeks. As for a winner from the last contest, I think Jared's feax hawk comment takes the cake. Here's one of me in Morocco. Enjoy!

2007-01-31T23:24:00.000-07:00

Puns of Fun

2007-01-31T14:59:00.000-07:00

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Wow. Just... wow.

2007-01-23T17:11:00.000-07:00

This makes me feel all sorts of dirty. And not the good dirty. No. Jon Howe dirty.

Sundance Madness

2007-01-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

Here you go, J-rad. And to everyone else who wasn't a part of the Jontourage, here's a picture of us up at Sundance hanging out with Roy from the Office.

Fare Thee Well, Sweet Prince

2007-01-22T14:20:00.000-07:00

If you had any questions as to the status of our dear friend Curtis Manning, put them to rest and know that he died the best way possible: at the hands of Jack Bauer.

the floor is yours, Congressman Howe

2007-01-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

EuroTrip... Back in Action

2007-01-06T15:18:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Sorry it took me so long to finally put up a new caption contest. As far as a winner for the last one, I think it goes to Jon. Although Leaper's comment was pretty good, too. This one is from my surfing trip to the Canary Islands. And since you all seem to enjoy making fun of me so much, perhaps I will continue to post pictures from the trip even though I am already back in the United States.

Geostationary Banana Over Texas

2007-01-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

Do I need to say more?

I'm on vacation.

2007-01-02T12:30:00.000-07:00

So, I'm at home and it's beautiful. How was everyone's holiday? Oh yeah, and Aubrey arrives today. [excitement] Just thought I'd make people who live in the snow a little jealous. (It's 70 degrees here)

P.S. Everyone who was listed as a contributor, you're still a contributor. We just need to post stuff to help the blogger.com refresh. And I have tagged some of the posts with the sweet new labeling system, but I didn't do them all (I still sorta have a life, you know). If you feel like tagging your own past posts, feel free! Organization is the nectar of the gods!

A New Year, A New Look.

2007-01-02T12:14:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Happy New Year! I've already used my post's quota for exclamation points!

Anyway, you may have noticed a slightly new look to the blog (gotta keep up with the Joneses). Well, I figured what better a way to ring in 2007 with a new face on the Canasian blog. Heck, while I'm at it, why not have myself start contributing to my own blog again? Well, I'm back baby, I'm only taking 5 credits this semester, so there will be some definite blog time.

Quick poll: Should I keep everyone updated on the progress of the next set of Cosmo Films on this blog? Tell me what you think in the comments.

Okay, and one last treat for you all. My brother-in-law showed me this one. Apparently, this was the #1 music video in Japan for 2006. (No wonder we beat them in WWII.) It's funny. (Not that joke, the video.) Enjoy!

2006-12-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

Dating Do's and Dont's

And we thought old fashioned dating was old....

If you get bored, skip to the end, it's the best.

New Transformers Trailer!

2006-12-21T13:33:00.000-07:00

Sit back and revel in the awesomeness that is Transformers.

Border fence building firm gets busted for hiring illegal immigrants

2006-12-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

Only in America.

Wild Christmas

2006-12-13T01:56:00.000-07:00

I've been having a lot of fun listening to these compilations for the past few days. They're free, and they're packed full of strange and obscure Christmas music. There is great stuff here.

2006-12-11T23:42:00.000-07:00

Darth Vader vs. Japanese Police

Does anybody wonder why there were no Japanese in Star Wars?

Jared Caved!

2006-12-07T17:09:00.000-07:00

Jared is on Facebook, just thought everyone should know.

EuroTrip Update

2006-12-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Sorry that I haven´t been able to put up a new photo for the contest. The internet at my house is down, so I have no real way of putting up a new picture as of right now. Especially since I am leaving tonight to go to Morocco for the weekend! Take that, all of you James Bond-watchers! Love, Ryan

P.S. I miss you too, Jes

This is all your fault, Mormon nerds!

2006-11-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

I'm glad somebody finally got around to translating this:

Klingon Book of Mormon

The Indian Film Industry's Effects: "Special" as in "Education"

2006-11-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

If the embedded player doesn't work, try the link above.
(I'm trying to be a techno-weenie, so cope with me)

The Return of EuroTrip

2006-11-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

Hey folks, sorry if it's been a while. The winner from last week had to be J-rad's child custody comment. This new picture is from San Sebastian, a city on the northern coast of Spain, about ten miles from France. I personally think this looks like the cover of some whiny emo rock band CD, but that's just a suggestion.

What, according to Google, is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

2006-11-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

World's smartest man

2006-11-08T03:49:00.000-07:00

The Nevada State Athletic Commission will be filing a complaint against MMA star and sometimes pro wrestler Kevin Randleman regarding what is alleged to be a fake urine sample he provided in his 10/21 drug test.

Pride has already been contacted and Randleman either has, or will be imminently, on the charge of faking the test, which would be expected to carry similar penalties as a drug test positive.

Keith Kizer of the Nevada State Athletic Commission got the doctor's report earlier today that the urine sample contained no hormones, and therefore, it is believed to not be either his urine or the urine of a living human being.

Not to be hatin', but let's set something straight...

2006-11-04T16:42:00.000-07:00

EuroTrip... With a Vengeance

2006-11-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

Hey folks, Sorry it took a while to get this one up, but I have been out of town. As for a winner for last week, I would have to say Jon's shirt comment made me laugh the hardest, although Jes had some really good ones too. I hope you enjoy this picture of me in Burgos. That ice cream cone man is eating an ice cream cone. That's just sick!

Ryan!

2006-11-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

We need a new caption contest now! And the Suns lost to the Jazz last night. In Phoenix. Just so you know.

Spider-Man 3 spoilers

2006-10-26T15:04:00.000-06:00

Informative, but (be warned) it contains spoilers. Especially about Bruce Campbell. I love that guy.

Jack's coming...

2006-10-24T23:47:00.000-06:00

EuroTrip Goes On and On

2006-10-23T06:26:00.000-06:00

Sorry it took me so long to get this one posted. As for a winner, I would have to say Jared's first comment was the best! I hope you guys have fun with this one of me in a famous park in the city of Burgos in eastern Spain. Enjoy! (Notice: Any Brokeback Mountain - related comments will not be taken into consideration)

The world's most addicting game

2006-10-18T19:01:00.000-06:00

What's your best time?

Buzz Aldrin punches a guy in the face!

2006-10-17T19:35:00.000-06:00

More like (regrettable pun) kick-a**tronaut.

EuroTrip Strikes Back!

2006-10-09T05:32:00.000-06:00

Good comments from everyone last week. I think it's time I finally award my father the best caption of the week with his last one, however Jared's comment came in a close second. This next picture is of me sitting in the County Hall in Valladolid, a small city in Northern Spain. It looks like I'm probably saying something very important.

If you thought Rocky 6 was a bad idea...

2006-10-06T11:25:00.000-06:00

...then you're wrong: Rocky 5 was a bad idea. Rocky 6 is a worse idea. But WarGames 2? And Ghostbusters 3? It's crazy enough that it just might work. Only not for Rocky 6.

One of my students showed me this. Funny kid.

2006-10-04T10:00:00.000-06:00

Pitchfork Media's review of Jet's new album

2006-10-03T22:29:00.000-06:00

Is 'Shine On' by Jet the album of the year?

Need to study?

2006-10-02T15:49:00.000-06:00

No, you don't.

EuroTrip Again

2006-09-28T07:32:00.000-06:00

Hey folks! Sorry it took me a while to get this one up. As far as a winner for last week goes, I think this one has to go to J-rad's "token" comment (although the insults from my Dad came in a close second). For this week, here's a picture of me overlooking the Forum (right by the Colliseum) in Rome. What am I pondering about in this picture? You decide!

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

2006-09-19T12:04:00.000-06:00

As some of you may or may not (the majority of you) know, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! If ever you needed an excuse to call that pesky classmate a "saucy wench" or announce your presence in a social setting with a brisk "Avast!", today is the day for you. Show your pirattitude with a "yar" or two! Or, if you're a teacher, with a lesson plan or two.

EuroTrip keeps on coming!

2006-09-18T08:20:00.000-06:00

Great Posts from everyone on that last contest, although I think Canasian's last comment about the jacket made me laugh the hardest. And yes, I do feel that the person who designed it deserves a hot girlfriend. So, in honor of last week's winner, here's another more regal picture of that hot track jacket, on display in front of a statue of Columbus in Barcelona. Enjoy.

Vader Sessions

2006-09-17T04:25:00.000-06:00

Classic.

The Stormtrooper Effect and The Inverse Ninja Law

2006-09-14T12:49:00.000-06:00

At last these baffling phenomena have been categorized!

Key Quote: "The Nazis in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade must all have studied at the Imperial Stormtrooper School of Marksmanship."

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

2006-09-12T13:01:00.000-06:00

WAWAWEEWAH! You can be seeing small pictures of Borat movie now! MAKE CLICK!

EuroTrip Bonus Picture!

2006-09-11T06:34:00.000-06:00

This picture isn't for a photo contest, but I thought it still deserves to be posted. I can only imagine this movie is even better in French.

EurotTrip 2006 continues!

2006-09-11T06:22:00.000-06:00

Well, that last contest had some great ones, but I would have to say the winner was Jared's mysterious "lead" foot pun. He didn't actually make a joke, but if he had, I am certain it would have been hilarious. But good luck to the rest of you with this one of me ordering another pint in a pub in Stuttgart. I'm not sure what the girls are doing, but you caption contestants can surely think of something. - Ryan

New Casino Royale Trailer!

2006-09-09T06:25:00.000-06:00

A new Casino Royale trailer has just been posted, and it looks amazing. If you get a chance, take a look at it, because this movie will be INCREDIBLE!

EuroTrip 2006!

2006-09-05T15:16:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I have been travelling trugh Europe and have finally settled down in Madrid for my semester of Study Abroad. However, I wanted to include all of you in this trip, as well as give you an opportunity to make fun of me even though I am across the sea, by starting the EuroTrip photo caption contest. Here I am in Stuttgart, Germany, outside of the Mercedes Benz museum. Enjoy. -Ryan

NEW AUDIOSLAVE!!

2006-09-05T14:13:00.000-06:00

Just in case you didn't know, I'm a HUGE Chris Cornell fan. HUGE. Anyhoo, Audioslave's new album Revelations was released today and it's great! VH1 has some cool footage -- videos, exclusive acoustic performances -- here. Check it out. And stay tuned for news about Chris's upcoming solo album (but rest assured that Audioslave is in no danger of breaking up).

Cosmo Begins... and ROCKS!

2006-08-31T13:58:00.000-06:00

Check out this awesome shot courtesy of Wednesday's Deseret News! You've got yourself a mascot, a legendary stadium and a freakin' helicopter... It doesn't get much cooler than this, and it's all on account of our visionary filmmaker friend Jon Howe (bless his little canasian heart). Remember all us little people in the Oscar speech, pal!

I have a confession to make.

2006-08-21T17:46:00.000-06:00

I had In-N-Out today, and I honestly think that Scoreboard is better. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I can face my fellow californians with a guiltless gaze. Hopefully everything will work out.

Cosmo Begins!

2006-08-09T21:11:00.000-06:00

And it starts. Production on the epic six-part miniseries which will air this next football season (one new episode every home game), officially starts tomorrow. A production blog has been started here. Hopefully we'll be keeping it somewhat hopping. It'll really kick into gear after principal photography is over (which is scheduled to wrap Aug. 30th) but the TV ads and some occasional video blogs or set pics may show up. Check back from time to time.

Happy Birthday, Audrey!

2006-08-09T08:25:00.000-06:00

Everyone take some time to congratulate Jon's girlfriend on turning 30 today! Jon must have a thing for older ladies, but I think he has a winner with this one.

Canasian Films Blog

2006-08-08T15:05:00.000-06:00

So, people wanted an easier access method to watching my films. I finally caved to their incessant pestering. Hence, the introduction of canasianfilms.blogspot.com

Not everything is up there yet, but it will be, or I'll just make it a 'show' blog of all the really good stuff and then have a comprehensive blog elsewhere... You know, whatever I feel.

Jon

2006-08-03T03:13:00.000-06:00

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

2006-08-02T00:16:00.000-06:00

Remember the 'million ways to be cruel' video? Remember how it blew us away with it's cutting edge choreography and catchy lixx? Welcome to the best thing since then.

This is why you proofread. UPDATED

2006-07-28T13:28:00.000-06:00

Oh wow. You never know how incredibly ridiculous wedding announcements will get. I thought I had seen them all, poorly designed, poorly worded. But nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for what we got in the mail a little bit ago. Yes, this happy young couple sent this photo out to everyone that they know.

I've also posted the rest of the announcement on my Flickr Account. I've scoured the whole thing and no, there is absolutely no reason for that lighthouse to be there. No such maritime imagry on the rest of the thing. I shake my head increduoulsly at humanity. Once again, we have topped ourselves.

Update - We tracked down the e-mail address of the designer of the above atrocity. I'm not going to suggest what one could do with the e-mail address, but here it is anyway His name is Delwin Davenport. DAV02001@BYUI.EDU

Jake, I've finally converted. I love Get Fuzzy.

2006-07-27T00:09:00.000-06:00

I sat down and read an entire book today, 'say cheesy' and finally, I see what you saw the whole time.

Miss Teskie Pictures!

2006-07-25T15:31:00.000-06:00

Well, last night was the Valhalla of pyrotechnics for me. I attended the Pioneer Day Miss Teskie event, hosted by DTJ and the rest of the Teskie crew. It was great, lightning storms aplenty, food, friendly people and of course, fire. Lots and lots of fire. Trent even let me do a Teskie. I was nervous at first, but boy, it was straight nectar. I've posted about 20 highlight pics on my Flickr account here. Enjoy! (Next time you all should really come)

Cowabunga Dudes!

2006-07-25T09:30:00.000-06:00

New Ninja Turtles movie!

2006-07-21T14:41:00.000-06:00

I miss Stella so much!

So darn much!

It's Teskie Time!

2006-07-17T17:40:00.000-06:00

It's Miss Teskie time! Come celebrate the Saints' entrance into their temporary Promised Land with fireworks, barbeque, friends, and fire!

What's a Miss Teskie, you ask? To truly understand a Teskie, you must experience it yourself. Like the Matrix. However, a small fraction of its majesty can be witnessed here:

Teskie photos and movies

E-mail me at treymoney@gmail.com if you're interested in coming!

J.G. Wentworth Representative Is Illogical and Rude

2006-07-17T15:37:00.000-06:00

So you have seen those incredulously horrible ads on the television for J.G. Wentworth and Associates, right? Every time one has come on I have wondered if they were homemade and if J.G. Wentworth was some sort of small startup-type company here locally. If you haven't seen the ads, check the link above and you'll see what I mean. Pure filthy crap. The runny kind. From a purely cinematic and aesthetic aspect, these ads are atrocious. Horrible inconsistent sound and lighting, color correction is radically different between shots, there are light stands in the shots, etc. Completely unprofessional in my opinion. Maybe that's their strategy so that people can remember who they are, but it's a calculated risk, sacrificing professionalism for brand placement. Anyway, I got online today and looked them up to see if they're local, because it's a potential client for me. Every time I see one I wonder why I'm not making their commercials (Like that crappy Kill Bill Benihana commercial). Heck, every time I see one I wonder why Lassie isn't making their commercials.

It turns out that they're based out of, I think, Pennsylvania. So I was like, 'heck, let's give 'em a call'. So I dial the 800 number and representative 'Matt' answers the phone.

(The dialogue isn't completely verbatim, but I'll do the best that I can. So this is a disclaimer. I may be putting some words into the mouth of our good friend Matt, but most of this transcript is accurate. So, this is my official legal disclaimer.)

Matt: Thanks for calling J.G. Wentworth. My name is Matt. How can I help you?
Me: Yeah, I was just calling about your advertisements.
Matt: Yeah what about them?
Me: Well, (long pause) I was wondering if I could do your advertising for you.
Matt: Well do you have a background in marketing or advertising.
Me: Well, sorta, yeah. But that's not so much my point as that every time I see one on TV, they're so poorly made-
Matt: Well, I think they're really effective. It got you on the phone didn't you?
Me: Well yeah-
Matt: And I'm talking to you right now right?
Me: Yeah-
Matt: And it could be a marketing strategy.
Me: Yeah, and that's what I was wondering if you were making really bad commercials on purpose to help-
Matt: What about them is so bad.
Me: Well, they're so poorly made. The-
Matt: Well I think they're very effective. It got you to call didn't it?
Me: Well, yeah. But I'm not so much calling about structured settlements. I'm calling about how bad your ads are. Every time I see one on TV, they're so poorly made it infuriates me.
Matt: Well I think that they're very effective and (This is an exact quote) if everyone was as easily manipulated as you, we'd be a whole lot richer than we are now.
Me: Wow. (Laughs) You just said that. (Laughs again). That's awesome.
Matt: (Hangs up)

Now I speculate that Matt with his fast talking and cutting me off every two words thinks that he 'won' the phone call, but his logic didn't make any sense. Yeah, I may have crossed the line but saying that the ads 'infuriate me', and yeah, J.G. Wentworth is so rich and all, but they just paid for that phone call.

I am not obsessed with pro-wrestling...

2006-07-09T21:18:00.000-06:00

And I haven't watched it for about 5 years.

But this has to be posted.

In the spirit on Nacho Libre, here are the least intimidating luchadores

2006-07-07T01:35:00.000-06:00

The mask of Lucha Libre star Histeria, a successful mask.

1) The Student

2) Darth Vader

3) Halloween

4) Curry Man

5) The Masked Canadian

Jon's Vacation: Day 12

2006-07-06T00:48:00.000-06:00

Almost done with writing the movie. (Well, the storyline)

Oh, and my lower back is killing me. It's been killing me for a week. Does anyone know a cute girl who'd be willing to massage it for me?

Jon's Vacation: Days 10 & 11

2006-07-05T00:58:00.000-06:00

A little holiday photo essay for you all. Our stake throws a 4th of July pancake breakfast every year. So I brought the camera and saw what I could see. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was out, even at 8:30 in the morning. Don't worry though. I took a nap when I got home. : )

Patriotic kid asking about the flag in the man's shirt pocket.

My not so little brother and my dad and his huge straw (He made it out of a flag. Is that legal?)

Now the same kid is getting stories about how the krauts made a run on gramps.

My mom hates getting her picture taken. : )

Yours truly. I think I'm squinting, but I can't really tell. : )

Jon's Vacation: Day 9

2006-07-03T01:18:00.000-06:00

'Jon, I miss you.' Ah, my fantasy girlfriend, Audrey Tautou. (So cute.)

Man, my vacation is over half over. It's kinda strange being on the downside to a great and relaxing trip. You know it feels when you're taking a test and you have like, 10 questions left, and like 25 minutes left to do them in, which is more than enough time but you stress about it anyway? That's how I feel right now about my vacation. I've got like, 5 days left.

I got to hold a three day old baby today. One of my friends just had it cute as punch. It's amazing how tiny babies are. I was so nervous (cause I didn't want to drop it, cough on it, etc. It's a girl by the way, Kaiah). But she was just sleeping away, cute as can be. Truly the whole power to create life business is a miracle. I just can't hardly fathom a little soul being in there. (Actual picture of the wee babe, taken by yours truly)

Oh yeah. An update for everyone. From now on, the term, 'fake girlfriend' is not to be used. It comes off as sort of condescending. It has now been changed to 'mock girlfriend' until further notice. (Personally, I enjoyed 'pretend girlfriend').

Jon's Vacation: Day 8

2006-07-02T00:47:00.000-06:00

How incredibly cool am I? Well, maybe just sworda cool. Get it? Get it?

Anyway. So, there's home construction today. We're tiling the back patio, becuase my dad apparently has this mediterranian island paradise vision for our back yard. I think it'll be nice. So that went on for a while.

Then I made some amazing salad for a dinner we were invited to by the family of my brother's best friend. (Ask me for the recipe)

Anyway, thought of the day. Isn't it amazing how blessings pour out when you least expect them? But when they come they always come at a time when you didn't really notice you needed them, but upon reflection, holy crap, it would have been so hard without them. Okay, that was as clear as mud. To elucidate, an example. So, my family isn't one that anyone would call 'rich'. We're comfortable. We're in the middle class. But we have many expenses, like two kids in college, three cars (two in CA and one in UT) and oh yeah, my sister is getting married. That's a big one. So, we get by.

Well, randomly, I get this letter in the mail from BYU today, and 'hey Jon, you get a half-tuition scholarship next year'. How nice is that? Completely unexpected. I mean, I apply, but I never get anything. I'm pretty sure the FAFSA means F- All of the Freaking Stupid Asians. Or Financial Assistance Fakery for people born Somewhere not America. But yeah. And my beloved TTE program gave me a quarter tuition assistance because I'm student teaching. That's (counts) ..three quarters assistance! Really, it's humbling.

It would have been a pinch on my dad any myself who work to the bone already (me not as much as my dad, cause let's face it, I work but not so much for money- apparently I like to give it away.) to get through the next year. I also am aware that there a whole lot of other students who are struggling much harder than I who are probably more righteous than I who probably deserve it more than I. Yet I get the letter. I don't know why such mercies are given me, but I'll accept them with gratitude. I really think that the net effect of blessings like these (blessings without too much immediate reason) is humility.

I think that certain behaviors are manifestations of certain traits. This isn't always without exception, but are good measures to judge by. For example, charity I think is manifested a lot by personal sacrifice. Love, by patience. Faith by action and humility by gratitude. A humble man sees him self as he really is with respect to the majesty of God and His plan. It's eye-opening to realize how much mercy we receive on a daily basis. I feel that God humbles people in two ways: He destroys them, or He shows them mercy. How thankful I am that our Father is a merciful God.

It makes me think to my favorite part of the Pearl of Great Price which is the Oliver Cowdry note at the end of JSH. The one that starts with “These were days never to be forgotten". This is the whole quote. “These were days never to be forgotten—to sit under the sound of a voice dictated by the inspiration of heaven, awakened the utmost gratitude of this bosom!" I see a humbled man who is realizing that he is literally writing God's words. I wonder sometimes if he even saw the massive scope of the undertakings in which he was working. I can't comprehend it myself. But what it came down to, what he wrote, was that he was thankful. Humbling, eh?

So, here's to being grateful. All I can really do is work on becoming more humble, work hard and help as many people as I can. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top three. If anyone else can think of more to add to the list, feel free. : )

Still missing my friends though. (And I have no favorites.) But Strawberries and Ice Cream are doing a good job of replacing them.

Jon's Vacation: Day 7

2006-07-01T00:29:00.000-06:00

Trendsetter or dweeb? You decide. (Getting fitted for a tux)

So it has only taken one week for my complete and totaly vacation to turn into a mission to help my sisters wedding crap get done. It's not like I don't want to help or anything, but shoot. I left Provo to get away from people asking me to do things all the time. *sigh* Anyway. Really, I'm not that resentful.

So today I spent 4 hours printing reception and RSVP cards. But I also went shopping for a new light grey suit which would be so hot. But to no avail. Santa Maria just isn't a suit town. Well, so says the kindly old hispanic man who fitted me for a tux today. He says its a cow town. I wonder if he was talking about the agriculture or the women.... kidding, kidding.

Wrote a lot more of the movie tonight. Right now I'm embroiled into the seedy mystery part. It's kinda sweet. Oh yeah, and for dessert. You guessed it, a heaping bowl of freshly sliced California strawberries perched upon a bed of the finest Thrifty's vanilla ice cream.

I'm starting to miss all of my friends.

Jon's Vacation: Day 6

2006-06-30T00:37:00.000-06:00

'...and in 6 months you can have a raise.'

So, I'm thinking about starting a new business. 'Another one', you ask? Why not? It's not like I'm incredibly busy or anything. Well, what brought this on was my parents and my conversation over dinner (chinese food of my own crafting) tonight. We were talking how my sister got this sick amazing wedding dress straight out of China, custom made, custom paid and custom fitted for like, $81. Really. I was like, 'dang, I need to get a light grey suit'. And then my mom and I started talking about all of these little connections that she has for getting stuff all over. Apparantly there are some Koreans in LA who I can pay hardly anything for them to make me anything and then my imagination began to run wild. Custom t-shirts? They can make me designer jeans of my own brand. What the crap? I could have my own clothing line.

Really, the idea is enticing. I could be the next Versace, fashionisto. But then again I could always be a woman. Or gay. But gender preference aside, making sweet t-shirts does sound way cool. But I'm always afraid of the risk. What guarentees sales? How well are the ka-jillion other 'smarmy t-shirt saying' companies doing? Plus add to that my complete and utter lack of business savviness, then you've got the makings of the business equvalent of the Fantastic Four movie. Which if the reference is confusing you, was a languid piece of rotting tripe. Dare I say that Joel Schumacher (Batman & Robin) might be able to make a better movie. Next time Tim Story tries to make a movie, I'll rip his eyes out and shove them down his pants so he can see me kick the crap out of him. Anyway, I need a savvy business partner and some sweet ideas, cause folks, I've got the connections.

Oh yeah, and I wrote more movie tonight. I like it.

2006-06-29T14:35:00.000-06:00

Yo La Tengo - Sugarcube

This is one of my favorite music videos, starring David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. It's good, okay?

New Snakes on a Plane Trailer!

2006-06-29T10:13:00.001-06:00

This is going to be one amazing movie. Here's the new trailer, with more of snake'hating Samuel L. Jackson. Oh man!

I thought this deserved posting...

2006-06-29T02:47:00.000-06:00

Youtube is filled with wonderful gold.

Jon's Vacation: Day 5

2006-06-28T23:59:00.000-06:00

I took this picture. Really.

You know what that is? It's a heaping bowl of freshly sliced California strawberries perched upon a bed of the finest Thrifty's vanilla ice cream. It really is one of life's greatest delights.

So, someday when I become a multi-billionaire or something to that effect, you know what I'll have after dinner? With all the purchasing power in the world, I would have a heaping bowl of freshly sliced California strawberries perched upon a bed of the finest Thrifty's vanilla ice cream. Desserts that are on fire, pish tosh. Desserts that require days to arduously craft, I turn my nose to you. Being home is nice.

So, what did I do today? I did my sister's engagement photos (touched them up etc. I think there's money in this by the way) Then I made some mucho progress on the movie. A barrel o' surprises this movie is going to be. We've got plot, likable characters, atmosphere, oh man, all we need is a budget and we'll be set. And the more I write the movie, the more I feel that its going to be a full lenth feature. I wonder if I'll be able to handle it.

I went to San Luis Obispo today. Ate dinner at Firestone BBQ and watched a bajillion Cal Poly girls walk in. Girls who drink is a huge turn off by the way. So are girls who swear. And smoke. Anyway, I about picked up on a girl in the Barnes & Noble where I was writing script. She was sitting at the table across the way doing homework. Then I realized that I live in Provo and she's probably not LDS. Kinda puts a damper on things real quick.

And I've decided that I'm going to take up photography again. So all you gorgeous women out there, I need some models. Just let me know.

Jon's Vacation: Day 4

2006-06-28T02:08:00.000-06:00

Ah, a restaraunt which serves real seafood... only in California. Or Oregon, or Hawaii or anyplace that isn't Utah.

Many things accomplished today. All of it, stuff that was good for me to do, but kept me from doing the thing that I wanted to do the most today. Write the movie. Anyway, I'll be hitting it hard tomorrow.

Okay, here is my list of favorite Superhero movies (not comic book movies per se, because there are countless tons of those) as of late.

In descending order

1. Batman Begins - Pretty much perfect in every way. The Dark Knight to the World's Greatest Detective. Mind blowing production values, A list actors and crew, phenomenal storytelling. Simply, without peer.

2. Spiderman 2 - This film like, four-upped its predecessor. Everything was a notch above, along with a villanous plot with a redemptive twist. And Bruce Campbell is in it.

3. Superman Returns - Just saw this one tonight. It was good. Even very good. I liked the new Superman, I liked Lois. Loved Luthor. But for me it only had glimmers of the glory of Superman. Batman Begins had me writhe with glee every time we caught a glimpse of the caped crusader. Superman had that potential. His personal anguish, the plane sequence. Even saving the city, but it seemed like a simple summary to me. It was this close. Still, it's one of the best movies that I've seen this summer (which isn't necessarily saying much) and it's much better than the majority of the Marvel schlock that's been coming out lately. Oh yeah, Jared tells me there's a typo in the credits. Look for the 'Post Poduction Supervisor'.

4. X2 & X3 (Tie) - I know I know. There are a lot of you X3 haters out there, but I thought that the Ratner did great, especially with what he had been given. Multiple Man. Whenever did I think I would see Multiple Man in a movie? Awesome. X2 would have ranked higher up on the scale if Bryan Singer didn't insist on having huge dragging portions of the film (Superman had the same problem). X3, though not as densely plotted as X2, just let it all out. Yeah yeah, the Phoenix Saga could have been done better, but given the comic book context, I think they did well. Holy crap, how nerdy did I sound just then?

5. Spiderman
6. Blade
7. X-Men
(The list goes to crap right around here)
8. Daredevil
9. Hulk

And that's it. Fantastic Four isn't worthy to look at this list. I'd put Sky High higher up on the list than FF, and I haven't even seen Sky High.

So, that's what I did today, along with spending hours doing stuff for my sister's wedding. At least I'll only have to do that once (crosses fingers) : )

545 hours of usage?

2006-06-27T17:32:00.001-06:00

Spiderman 3! Teaser trailer

2006-06-27T12:59:00.000-06:00

The teaser trailer came out 20 minutes ago.
It is amazing. Check it out here.

Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

2006-06-27T11:27:00.000-06:00

Lot of pictures up here nowadays... anyhoo, have fun with this one!

Jon's Vacation Day 3

2006-06-26T22:20:00.000-06:00

NAAAACHHHOOOOOOOO! Me outside the theatre.

So, using an objective evaluation, questionable would be as to the status of the productivity of my day. Really, I did only two things. I started writing the Sweet Noir Movie of Sickness (Working title) and I saw Nacho Libre with my family. Oh yeah, and I emptied the dishwasher too. And ate some chocolate mint ice cream bars from Schwans. It was a full day.

I came in to the 'Nach' having been heavily biased by all of my friends who have seen it and who have told me that it's ... ok. This, I'll have to admit, probably helped me a lot. I liked it. I think it's all about the context in which you see a film. The last film I saw before this was Shaun of the Dead (edited, of course). Had I been watching some Fellini or something, it might be a different story.

Anyway, 'whimsy' is how I'd describe it. It was paced a little slow, but man, there were some glimmering particles of hilarity. And the sweet Sister in the film, there is nun better. My mom loved the awkward big lipped stick of a man, my dad liked the underlying message, my brother loved the baptism scene and I loved the nun. So, officially, Ana de la Reguera is the new love of my life. That is, until I can trick a real girl into loving me. Boy, that last sentence was pitiful wasn't it? *sigh*.

Anyway, progress is being made. I'm liking what I'm writing (as far as the movie goes), and I hope you will too. BTW, anyone hear from Shark lately?

P.S. I'm back up to 148 pounds. Here's to 155 before I come back to Provo.

Oh yeah, and 24 hours until SUPERMAN RETURNS.

Jon's Vacation: Days 1&2

2006-06-26T01:08:00.000-06:00

Even the wildlife missed me.

Well, what can I say? California is the truly the promised land. Yeah yeah Missouri and all that, but honestly, it's gorgous here. Anyway, a funny story that you can all hold over my head when I can get back.

Day 01 - Jon is officially retarded.
So, I flew out on Saturday. My flight was scheduled to fly out at 6:18 in the AM. Oh yeah. Utilizing some complex algorithims and math techniques , this means that I had to leave for the airport at 4. Four am. 4 am in the morning. So, being the busy guy that I am, I just pull the all nighter and I was ready to go.

God bless Dan for driving me there. The man volunteered. Bless his heart. He'll be blessed with a cute wife for sure. Anyway, I get to the airport at 5, check in, all is good to go. So we're supposed to board at 5:50, and I'm all set to go in my suit (cause I don't like sticking it in my suitcase where it will get wrinkled) and CNN is assaulting the ears of everyone at the gate. So it's 5:45 and yes, I fall asleep.

I wake up and everyone is gone. I check the time, 6:15, the plane is still there, I can see it through the glass. Holy crap holy crap holy crap. So I'm trying to track down an attendant desparately in the next three minutes but my leg had fallen asleep, so I'm in a suit wearing my Jack Bauer man bag, limping around the terminal and finally I find someone, and he says that I can't get on. But the plane is still in the gate! Yeah, but they've already 'pushed'. What is this, avaiation or Childbirth?

So I got on a plane at 8:40. Yep, those were two of the most abysmal hours of my life waiting for that flight. I felt like the biggest (not so much in a girth sense) moron that had ever lived. But I made it to California okay.

Oh yeah, and whatever happened to the age of cute flight attendants? In my life, I've seen say, maybe one.

Day 02 - Normalcy
You have no idea how nice it is to go to church, and enjoy church. No pre-church meetings, not post-church duties, no running around during church trying to get things done. Church as church. I got to ponder, I got to pray. I got to truly enjoy the spirit of a ward. It had been a long time since a Sunday has been a Sunday for me.

Then I got to go home and grill (cause what else do you do on a Sunday?) We had friends over and I got to visit with one of my favorite families, and play some piano. It was good. It was relaxing. It was everything that a Sunday should have been.

I've been doing a lot of pondering lately. I like having the time to sit down and just think. Perhaps I'll write some down and heaven forbid, even blog it. Anyway, that's what's been going down. Tomorrow, writing on the new movie begins, and Tuesday, SUPERMAN RETURNS.

Friends, Fun and BBQ (Who's that asian kid?)

2006-06-23T20:36:00.000-06:00

Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

2006-06-19T23:25:00.000-06:00

Some of you may remember this fellow(?) from awhile ago. Be gentle.

What are you going to do with 30,000 hours of Chinese music?

2006-06-19T03:15:00.000-06:00

hmm?

Lets make it a contest even!

Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

2006-06-13T23:27:00.000-06:00

Pretty cool, huh? Whoever this guy is, he must be one fierce cage fighter.

Steven Seagal

2006-06-12T15:09:00.000-06:00

Happy Feet

2006-06-11T22:21:00.000-06:00

There are few movies that I'm so readily sold on...

Get Vista Today ! ! !

2006-06-09T09:15:00.000-06:00

I just ordered the DVD kit (includes the 32-bit and 64-bit versions) and it cost $10.73 ($6 for Vista, $4 for shipping, and $0.73 for tax). You can also download the ISO's if you prefer. Microsoft is only doing this for a "certain number" of people. Hurry if you're interested! I think they made it available yesterday.

Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

2006-06-05T13:37:00.000-06:00

Nice hustle last week, everybody (especially Polk Daddy)! This week's photo is kinda small, but I'm confident you will overcome. Just like a fat kid trying to open a bag of Cheezy Poofs.

The Barrington Effect

2006-06-04T20:14:00.000-06:00

You have been cordially invited to visit the new sociopolitical blog: "The Barrington Effect". Don't miss out on this opportunity for your life to be changed for the better good.

Visit us today at:

barringtoneffect.blogspot.com

Canasian & Friends

Okay, we're going to make a move.

Barack Obama Campaign Theme Song

Look Around You - Episode 01 - Maths

Nintendo Sex Ed

John McClane's wifebeater is officially an American treasure

the best of weird, weird music videos

CAPTION CONTEST 2.0!

photoshops worth seeing

Yes!

New Caption Contest! Yee-yuh.

Attention Inexperienced Guys

EuroTrip Keeps On Truckin'

Puns of Fun

Wow. Just... wow.

Sundance Madness

Fare Thee Well, Sweet Prince

the floor is yours, Congressman Howe

EuroTrip... Back in Action

Geostationary Banana Over Texas

I'm on vacation.

A New Year, A New Look.

New Transformers Trailer!

Border fence building firm gets busted for hiring illegal immigrants

Wild Christmas

Jared Caved!

EuroTrip Update

This is all your fault, Mormon nerds!

The Indian Film Industry's Effects: "Special" as in "Education"

The Return of EuroTrip

What, according to Google, is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

World's smartest man

Not to be hatin', but let's set something straight...

EuroTrip... With a Vengeance

Ryan!

Spider-Man 3 spoilers

Jack's coming...

EuroTrip Goes On and On

The world's most addicting game

Buzz Aldrin punches a guy in the face!

EuroTrip Strikes Back!

If you thought Rocky 6 was a bad idea...

One of my students showed me this. Funny kid.

Pitchfork Media's review of Jet's new album

Need to study?

EuroTrip Again

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

EuroTrip keeps on coming!

Vader Sessions

The Stormtrooper Effect and The Inverse Ninja Law

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

EuroTrip Bonus Picture!

EurotTrip 2006 continues!

New Casino Royale Trailer!

EuroTrip 2006!

NEW AUDIOSLAVE!!

Cosmo Begins... and ROCKS!

I have a confession to make.

Cosmo Begins!

Happy Birthday, Audrey!

Canasian Films Blog

OK Go - Here It Goes Again

This is why you proofread. *UPDATED*

Jake, I've finally converted. I love Get Fuzzy.

Miss Teskie Pictures!

Cowabunga Dudes!

It's Teskie Time!

J.G. Wentworth Representative Is Illogical and Rude

I am not obsessed with pro-wrestling...

In the spirit on Nacho Libre, here are the least intimidating luchadores

Jon's Vacation: Day 12

Jon's Vacation: Days 10 & 11

Jon's Vacation: Day 9

Jon's Vacation: Day 8

Jon's Vacation: Day 7

Jon's Vacation: Day 6

New Snakes on a Plane Trailer!

I thought this deserved posting...

Jon's Vacation: Day 5

Jon's Vacation: Day 4

This is why you proofread. UPDATED