OK Go - Here It Goes Again

Remember the 'million ways to be cruel' video? Remember how it blew us away with it's cutting edge choreography and catchy lixx? Welcome to the best thing since then.

This is why you proofread. *UPDATED*

Oh wow. You never know how incredibly ridiculous wedding announcements will get. I thought I had seen them all, poorly designed, poorly worded. But nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for what we got in the mail a little bit ago. Yes, this happy young couple sent this photo out to everyone that they know.

I've also posted the rest of the announcement on my Flickr Account. I've scoured the whole thing and no, there is absolutely no reason for that lighthouse to be there. No such maritime imagry on the rest of the thing. I shake my head increduoulsly at humanity. Once again, we have topped ourselves.

Update - We tracked down the e-mail address of the designer of the above atrocity. I'm not going to suggest what one could do with the e-mail address, but here it is anyway His name is Delwin Davenport. DAV02001@BYUI.EDU

Jake, I've finally converted. I love Get Fuzzy.

I sat down and read an entire book today, 'say cheesy' and finally, I see what you saw the whole time.

Miss Teskie Pictures!

Well, last night was the Valhalla of pyrotechnics for me. I attended the Pioneer Day Miss Teskie event, hosted by DTJ and the rest of the Teskie crew. It was great, lightning storms aplenty, food, friendly people and of course, fire. Lots and lots of fire. Trent even let me do a Teskie. I was nervous at first, but boy, it was straight nectar. I've posted about 20 highlight pics on my Flickr account here. Enjoy! (Next time you all should really come)

Cowabunga Dudes!

New Ninja Turtles movie!

I miss Stella so much!

So darn much!

It's Teskie Time!

It's Miss Teskie time! Come celebrate the Saints' entrance into their temporary Promised Land with fireworks, barbeque, friends, and fire!

What's a Miss Teskie, you ask? To truly understand a Teskie, you must experience it yourself. Like the Matrix. However, a small fraction of its majesty can be witnessed here:

Teskie photos and movies

E-mail me at treymoney@gmail.com if you're interested in coming!

J.G. Wentworth Representative Is Illogical and Rude

So you have seen those incredulously horrible ads on the television for J.G. Wentworth and Associates, right? Every time one has come on I have wondered if they were homemade and if J.G. Wentworth was some sort of small startup-type company here locally. If you haven't seen the ads, check the link above and you'll see what I mean. Pure filthy crap. The runny kind. From a purely cinematic and aesthetic aspect, these ads are atrocious. Horrible inconsistent sound and lighting, color correction is radically different between shots, there are light stands in the shots, etc. Completely unprofessional in my opinion. Maybe that's their strategy so that people can remember who they are, but it's a calculated risk, sacrificing professionalism for brand placement. Anyway, I got online today and looked them up to see if they're local, because it's a potential client for me. Every time I see one I wonder why I'm not making their commercials (Like that crappy Kill Bill Benihana commercial). Heck, every time I see one I wonder why Lassie isn't making their commercials.

It turns out that they're based out of, I think, Pennsylvania. So I was like, 'heck, let's give 'em a call'. So I dial the 800 number and representative 'Matt' answers the phone.

(The dialogue isn't completely verbatim, but I'll do the best that I can. So this is a disclaimer. I may be putting some words into the mouth of our good friend Matt, but most of this transcript is accurate. So, this is my official legal disclaimer.)

Matt: Thanks for calling J.G. Wentworth. My name is Matt. How can I help you?
Me: Yeah, I was just calling about your advertisements.
Matt: Yeah what about them?
Me: Well, (long pause) I was wondering if I could do your advertising for you.
Matt: Well do you have a background in marketing or advertising.
Me: Well, sorta, yeah. But that's not so much my point as that every time I see one on TV, they're so poorly made-
Matt: Well, I think they're really effective. It got you on the phone didn't you?
Me: Well yeah-
Matt: And I'm talking to you right now right?
Me: Yeah-
Matt: And it could be a marketing strategy.
Me: Yeah, and that's what I was wondering if you were making really bad commercials on purpose to help-
Matt: What about them is so bad.
Me: Well, they're so poorly made. The-
Matt: Well I think they're very effective. It got you to call didn't it?
Me: Well, yeah. But I'm not so much calling about structured settlements. I'm calling about how bad your ads are. Every time I see one on TV, they're so poorly made it infuriates me.
Matt: Well I think that they're very effective and (This is an exact quote) if everyone was as easily manipulated as you, we'd be a whole lot richer than we are now.
Me: Wow. (Laughs) You just said that. (Laughs again). That's awesome.
Matt: (Hangs up)

Now I speculate that Matt with his fast talking and cutting me off every two words thinks that he 'won' the phone call, but his logic didn't make any sense. Yeah, I may have crossed the line but saying that the ads 'infuriate me', and yeah, J.G. Wentworth is so rich and all, but they just paid for that phone call.

I am not obsessed with pro-wrestling...

And I haven't watched it for about 5 years.

But this has to be posted.

In the spirit on Nacho Libre, here are the least intimidating luchadores

The mask of Lucha Libre star Histeria, a successful mask.

1) The Student

2) Darth Vader

3) Halloween

4) Curry Man

5) The Masked Canadian

Jon's Vacation: Day 12

Almost done with writing the movie. (Well, the storyline)

Oh, and my lower back is killing me. It's been killing me for a week. Does anyone know a cute girl who'd be willing to massage it for me?

Jon's Vacation: Days 10 & 11

A little holiday photo essay for you all. Our stake throws a 4th of July pancake breakfast every year. So I brought the camera and saw what I could see. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was out, even at 8:30 in the morning. Don't worry though. I took a nap when I got home. : )












Patriotic kid asking about the flag in the man's shirt pocket.













My not so little brother and my dad and his huge straw (He made it out of a flag. Is that legal?)











Now the same kid is getting stories about how the krauts made a run on gramps.









My mom hates getting her picture taken. : )











Yours truly. I think I'm squinting, but I can't really tell. : )

Jon's Vacation: Day 9

'Jon, I miss you.' Ah, my fantasy girlfriend, Audrey Tautou. (So cute.)

Man, my vacation is over half over. It's kinda strange being on the downside to a great and relaxing trip. You know it feels when you're taking a test and you have like, 10 questions left, and like 25 minutes left to do them in, which is more than enough time but you stress about it anyway? That's how I feel right now about my vacation. I've got like, 5 days left.

I got to hold a three day old baby today. One of my friends just had it cute as punch. It's amazing how tiny babies are. I was so nervous (cause I didn't want to drop it, cough on it, etc. It's a girl by the way, Kaiah). But she was just sleeping away, cute as can be. Truly the whole power to create life business is a miracle. I just can't hardly fathom a little soul being in there. (Actual picture of the wee babe, taken by yours truly)

Oh yeah. An update for everyone. From now on, the term, 'fake girlfriend' is not to be used. It comes off as sort of condescending. It has now been changed to 'mock girlfriend' until further notice. (Personally, I enjoyed 'pretend girlfriend').

Jon's Vacation: Day 8

How incredibly cool am I? Well, maybe just sworda cool. Get it? Get it?

Anyway. So, there's home construction today. We're tiling the back patio, becuase my dad apparently has this mediterranian island paradise vision for our back yard. I think it'll be nice. So that went on for a while.

Then I made some amazing salad for a dinner we were invited to by the family of my brother's best friend. (Ask me for the recipe)

Anyway, thought of the day. Isn't it amazing how blessings pour out when you least expect them? But when they come they always come at a time when you didn't really notice you needed them, but upon reflection, holy crap, it would have been so hard without them. Okay, that was as clear as mud. To elucidate, an example. So, my family isn't one that anyone would call 'rich'. We're comfortable. We're in the middle class. But we have many expenses, like two kids in college, three cars (two in CA and one in UT) and oh yeah, my sister is getting married. That's a big one. So, we get by.

Well, randomly, I get this letter in the mail from BYU today, and 'hey Jon, you get a half-tuition scholarship next year'. How nice is that? Completely unexpected. I mean, I apply, but I never get anything. I'm pretty sure the FAFSA means F- All of the Freaking Stupid Asians. Or Financial Assistance Fakery for people born Somewhere not America. But yeah. And my beloved TTE program gave me a quarter tuition assistance because I'm student teaching. That's (counts) ..three quarters assistance! Really, it's humbling.

It would have been a pinch on my dad any myself who work to the bone already (me not as much as my dad, cause let's face it, I work but not so much for money- apparently I like to give it away.) to get through the next year. I also am aware that there a whole lot of other students who are struggling much harder than I who are probably more righteous than I who probably deserve it more than I. Yet I get the letter. I don't know why such mercies are given me, but I'll accept them with gratitude. I really think that the net effect of blessings like these (blessings without too much immediate reason) is humility.

I think that certain behaviors are manifestations of certain traits. This isn't always without exception, but are good measures to judge by. For example, charity I think is manifested a lot by personal sacrifice. Love, by patience. Faith by action and humility by gratitude. A humble man sees him self as he really is with respect to the majesty of God and His plan. It's eye-opening to realize how much mercy we receive on a daily basis. I feel that God humbles people in two ways: He destroys them, or He shows them mercy. How thankful I am that our Father is a merciful God.

It makes me think to my favorite part of the Pearl of Great Price which is the Oliver Cowdry note at the end of JSH. The one that starts with “These were days never to be forgotten". This is the whole quote. “These were days never to be forgotten—to sit under the sound of a voice dictated by the inspiration of heaven, awakened the utmost gratitude of this bosom!" I see a humbled man who is realizing that he is literally writing God's words. I wonder sometimes if he even saw the massive scope of the undertakings in which he was working. I can't comprehend it myself. But what it came down to, what he wrote, was that he was thankful. Humbling, eh?

So, here's to being grateful. All I can really do is work on becoming more humble, work hard and help as many people as I can. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top three. If anyone else can think of more to add to the list, feel free. : )

Still missing my friends though. (And I have no favorites.) But Strawberries and Ice Cream are doing a good job of replacing them.

Jon's Vacation: Day 7

Trendsetter or dweeb? You decide. (Getting fitted for a tux)

So it has only taken one week for my complete and totaly vacation to turn into a mission to help my sisters wedding crap get done. It's not like I don't want to help or anything, but shoot. I left Provo to get away from people asking me to do things all the time. *sigh* Anyway. Really, I'm not that resentful.

So today I spent 4 hours printing reception and RSVP cards. But I also went shopping for a new light grey suit which would be so hot. But to no avail. Santa Maria just isn't a suit town. Well, so says the kindly old hispanic man who fitted me for a tux today. He says its a cow town. I wonder if he was talking about the agriculture or the women.... kidding, kidding.

Wrote a lot more of the movie tonight. Right now I'm embroiled into the seedy mystery part. It's kinda sweet. Oh yeah, and for dessert. You guessed it, a heaping bowl of freshly sliced California strawberries perched upon a bed of the finest Thrifty's vanilla ice cream.

I'm starting to miss all of my friends.

Jon's Vacation: Day 6

'...and in 6 months you can have a raise.'

So, I'm thinking about starting a new business. 'Another one', you ask? Why not? It's not like I'm incredibly busy or anything. Well, what brought this on was my parents and my conversation over dinner (chinese food of my own crafting) tonight. We were talking how my sister got this sick amazing wedding dress straight out of China, custom made, custom paid and custom fitted for like, $81. Really. I was like, 'dang, I need to get a light grey suit'. And then my mom and I started talking about all of these little connections that she has for getting stuff all over. Apparantly there are some Koreans in LA who I can pay hardly anything for them to make me anything and then my imagination began to run wild. Custom t-shirts? They can make me designer jeans of my own brand. What the crap? I could have my own clothing line.

Really, the idea is enticing. I could be the next Versace, fashionisto. But then again I could always be a woman. Or gay. But gender preference aside, making sweet t-shirts does sound way cool. But I'm always afraid of the risk. What guarentees sales? How well are the ka-jillion other 'smarmy t-shirt saying' companies doing? Plus add to that my complete and utter lack of business savviness, then you've got the makings of the business equvalent of the Fantastic Four movie. Which if the reference is confusing you, was a languid piece of rotting tripe. Dare I say that Joel Schumacher (Batman & Robin) might be able to make a better movie. Next time Tim Story tries to make a movie, I'll rip his eyes out and shove them down his pants so he can see me kick the crap out of him. Anyway, I need a savvy business partner and some sweet ideas, cause folks, I've got the connections.

Oh yeah, and I wrote more movie tonight. I like it.

Yo La Tengo - Sugarcube

This is one of my favorite music videos, starring David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. It's good, okay?

New Snakes on a Plane Trailer!

This is going to be one amazing movie. Here's the new trailer, with more of snake'hating Samuel L. Jackson. Oh man!

I thought this deserved posting...

Youtube is filled with wonderful gold.

Jon's Vacation: Day 5

I took this picture. Really.

You know what that is? It's a heaping bowl of freshly sliced California strawberries perched upon a bed of the finest Thrifty's vanilla ice cream. It really is one of life's greatest delights.

So, someday when I become a multi-billionaire or something to that effect, you know what I'll have after dinner? With all the purchasing power in the world, I would have a heaping bowl of freshly sliced California strawberries perched upon a bed of the finest Thrifty's vanilla ice cream. Desserts that are on fire, pish tosh. Desserts that require days to arduously craft, I turn my nose to you. Being home is nice.

So, what did I do today? I did my sister's engagement photos (touched them up etc. I think there's money in this by the way) Then I made some mucho progress on the movie. A barrel o' surprises this movie is going to be. We've got plot, likable characters, atmosphere, oh man, all we need is a budget and we'll be set. And the more I write the movie, the more I feel that its going to be a full lenth feature. I wonder if I'll be able to handle it.

I went to San Luis Obispo today. Ate dinner at Firestone BBQ and watched a bajillion Cal Poly girls walk in. Girls who drink is a huge turn off by the way. So are girls who swear. And smoke. Anyway, I about picked up on a girl in the Barnes & Noble where I was writing script. She was sitting at the table across the way doing homework. Then I realized that I live in Provo and she's probably not LDS. Kinda puts a damper on things real quick.

And I've decided that I'm going to take up photography again. So all you gorgeous women out there, I need some models. Just let me know.

Jon's Vacation: Day 4

Ah, a restaraunt which serves real seafood... only in California. Or Oregon, or Hawaii or anyplace that isn't Utah.

Many things accomplished today. All of it, stuff that was good for me to do, but kept me from doing the thing that I wanted to do the most today. Write the movie. Anyway, I'll be hitting it hard tomorrow.

Okay, here is my list of favorite Superhero movies (not comic book movies per se, because there are countless tons of those) as of late.

In descending order

1. Batman Begins - Pretty much perfect in every way. The Dark Knight to the World's Greatest Detective. Mind blowing production values, A list actors and crew, phenomenal storytelling. Simply, without peer.

2. Spiderman 2 - This film like, four-upped its predecessor. Everything was a notch above, along with a villanous plot with a redemptive twist. And Bruce Campbell is in it.

3. Superman Returns - Just saw this one tonight. It was good. Even very good. I liked the new Superman, I liked Lois. Loved Luthor. But for me it only had glimmers of the glory of Superman. Batman Begins had me writhe with glee every time we caught a glimpse of the caped crusader. Superman had that potential. His personal anguish, the plane sequence. Even saving the city, but it seemed like a simple summary to me. It was this close. Still, it's one of the best movies that I've seen this summer (which isn't necessarily saying much) and it's much better than the majority of the Marvel schlock that's been coming out lately. Oh yeah, Jared tells me there's a typo in the credits. Look for the 'Post Poduction Supervisor'.

4. X2 & X3 (Tie) - I know I know. There are a lot of you X3 haters out there, but I thought that the Ratner did great, especially with what he had been given. Multiple Man. Whenever did I think I would see Multiple Man in a movie? Awesome. X2 would have ranked higher up on the scale if Bryan Singer didn't insist on having huge dragging portions of the film (Superman had the same problem). X3, though not as densely plotted as X2, just let it all out. Yeah yeah, the Phoenix Saga could have been done better, but given the comic book context, I think they did well. Holy crap, how nerdy did I sound just then?

5. Spiderman
6. Blade
7. X-Men
(The list goes to crap right around here)
8. Daredevil
9. Hulk

And that's it. Fantastic Four isn't worthy to look at this list. I'd put Sky High higher up on the list than FF, and I haven't even seen Sky High.

So, that's what I did today, along with spending hours doing stuff for my sister's wedding. At least I'll only have to do that once (crosses fingers) : )

545 hours of usage?

Spiderman 3! Teaser trailer

The teaser trailer came out 20 minutes ago.
It is amazing. Check it out here.

Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

Lot of pictures up here nowadays... anyhoo, have fun with this one!

Jon's Vacation Day 3

NAAAACHHHOOOOOOOO! Me outside the theatre.

So, using an objective evaluation, questionable would be as to the status of the productivity of my day. Really, I did only two things. I started writing the Sweet Noir Movie of Sickness (Working title) and I saw Nacho Libre with my family. Oh yeah, and I emptied the dishwasher too. And ate some chocolate mint ice cream bars from Schwans. It was a full day.

I came in to the 'Nach' having been heavily biased by all of my friends who have seen it and who have told me that it's ... ok. This, I'll have to admit, probably helped me a lot. I liked it. I think it's all about the context in which you see a film. The last film I saw before this was Shaun of the Dead (edited, of course). Had I been watching some Fellini or something, it might be a different story.

Anyway, 'whimsy' is how I'd describe it. It was paced a little slow, but man, there were some glimmering particles of hilarity. And the sweet Sister in the film, there is nun better. My mom loved the awkward big lipped stick of a man, my dad liked the underlying message, my brother loved the baptism scene and I loved the nun. So, officially, Ana de la Reguera is the new love of my life. That is, until I can trick a real girl into loving me. Boy, that last sentence was pitiful wasn't it? *sigh*.

Anyway, progress is being made. I'm liking what I'm writing (as far as the movie goes), and I hope you will too. BTW, anyone hear from Shark lately?

P.S. I'm back up to 148 pounds. Here's to 155 before I come back to Provo.

Oh yeah, and 24 hours until SUPERMAN RETURNS.

Jon's Vacation: Days 1&2

Even the wildlife missed me.

Well, what can I say? California is the truly the promised land. Yeah yeah Missouri and all that, but honestly, it's gorgous here. Anyway, a funny story that you can all hold over my head when I can get back.

Day 01 - Jon is officially retarded.
So, I flew out on Saturday. My flight was scheduled to fly out at 6:18 in the AM. Oh yeah. Utilizing some complex algorithims and math techniques , this means that I had to leave for the airport at 4. Four am. 4 am in the morning. So, being the busy guy that I am, I just pull the all nighter and I was ready to go.

God bless Dan for driving me there. The man volunteered. Bless his heart. He'll be blessed with a cute wife for sure. Anyway, I get to the airport at 5, check in, all is good to go. So we're supposed to board at 5:50, and I'm all set to go in my suit (cause I don't like sticking it in my suitcase where it will get wrinkled) and CNN is assaulting the ears of everyone at the gate. So it's 5:45 and yes, I fall asleep.

I wake up and everyone is gone. I check the time, 6:15, the plane is still there, I can see it through the glass. Holy crap holy crap holy crap. So I'm trying to track down an attendant desparately in the next three minutes but my leg had fallen asleep, so I'm in a suit wearing my Jack Bauer man bag, limping around the terminal and finally I find someone, and he says that I can't get on. But the plane is still in the gate! Yeah, but they've already 'pushed'. What is this, avaiation or Childbirth?

So I got on a plane at 8:40. Yep, those were two of the most abysmal hours of my life waiting for that flight. I felt like the biggest (not so much in a girth sense) moron that had ever lived. But I made it to California okay.

Oh yeah, and whatever happened to the age of cute flight attendants? In my life, I've seen say, maybe one.

Day 02 - Normalcy
You have no idea how nice it is to go to church, and enjoy church. No pre-church meetings, not post-church duties, no running around during church trying to get things done. Church as church. I got to ponder, I got to pray. I got to truly enjoy the spirit of a ward. It had been a long time since a Sunday has been a Sunday for me.

Then I got to go home and grill (cause what else do you do on a Sunday?) We had friends over and I got to visit with one of my favorite families, and play some piano. It was good. It was relaxing. It was everything that a Sunday should have been.

I've been doing a lot of pondering lately. I like having the time to sit down and just think. Perhaps I'll write some down and heaven forbid, even blog it. Anyway, that's what's been going down. Tomorrow, writing on the new movie begins, and Tuesday, SUPERMAN RETURNS.

Friends, Fun and BBQ (Who's that asian kid?)

Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

Some of you may remember this fellow(?) from awhile ago. Be gentle.

What are you going to do with 30,000 hours of Chinese music?

hmm?

Lets make it a contest even!

Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

Pretty cool, huh? Whoever this guy is, he must be one fierce cage fighter.

Steven Seagal

Happy Feet

There are few movies that I'm so readily sold on...

Get Vista Today ! ! !

I just ordered the DVD kit (includes the 32-bit and 64-bit versions) and it cost $10.73 ($6 for Vista, $4 for shipping, and $0.73 for tax). You can also download the ISO's if you prefer. Microsoft is only doing this for a "certain number" of people. Hurry if you're interested! I think they made it available yesterday.

Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

Nice hustle last week, everybody (especially Polk Daddy)! This week's photo is kinda small, but I'm confident you will overcome. Just like a fat kid trying to open a bag of Cheezy Poofs.

Replace "Drew" with "John" and he pegged it

For some reason, I thought of John when I read this one...

Feminists Strike Again ! ! !

Can I go in, or not?

New Weekly Photo Caption Contest!

Okay, forget about last week -- here's a slice of fried photographic gold for you to dissect. And remember, we have no idea who the kid on the left with the sweet gecko shirt is.

Po po zao?

Finally, all of my favorite things put together on one wicked awesome YouTube clip: Conan O'Brien, James Lipton and K-Fed. Enjoy.

Check out some vacation photos!

Like this one!

New Hairstyle of the Week

For those of you who have been on the blog for a while, you may remember Ryan's hairstyles of the moment. Well, it's back by popular demand, and has now been extended to include facial hairstyles as well. In fact, let's make it a caption contest. I will announce next week who is the winner of this contest.

Jon's a ninja! Or something!

Nothing has been posted for a while

So I'll put up a few funny youtubes.

Heres one.