I'm having a bad month.

I think that anger is completely underrated. Well, perhaps not underrated, but pooh-poohed far more than its fair share. I used to be one of those pooh-poohers. I used to avoid and rationalize away my anger to the point of non-sensical absurdity. I think that anger can be part of a completely healthy individual. Never mind that it raises blood pressure, disturbs sleep patterns, and furthers a more unhealthy physical being in general. It’s only physical. The body will die eventually anyway, who cares how it gets there.

Needless to say, I haven’t been having the most pleasant of months. Then there is sickness, all of the ensuing chaos that ensues with missing school, work, church, etc, due to sickness, and then the random happenstance of being cosmically screwed at any available opportunity.

Let me just say that it is incredibly easy to become fantastically pissed off after two straight weeks of feeling like Star Jones’ recliner cushion. (Yeah yeah, it’s only physical, blah blah blah). Angry at what, you ask? I don’t know. I don’t think it even matters. It’s beside the point. What matters is that I am justifying my inability to control my emotions and allowing myself to be entertained by the ensuing ensuingness. Bottom line, being pissed off is kind of fun.

Now having fun while pissed off is only socially admissible under certain circumstances. Having no outwardly visible reason for being so is not one of them. There has to be some sort of fantastic cause to the emotional distress. Then anyone, clergy, anyone, will let you call them scores of epithets and assault their pets, praising you with harmonic strains of mercy. “Oh the poor dear, he heard that George Lucas is going to make another movie.”

The general public (well, at least the general public that I know) has a tendency to be compassionate and merciful. It is just one of those innate spiritual traits which all of us have managed to inherit. This is so that society in its entirety does not collapse when one of us becomes fantastically pissed off. They are there to assuage and nurture back to emotional health. This is the biggest obstacle to a life of anger-induced happiness. (“Stop being nice to me! Don’t you want me to be happy?!”) You see, anger-induced happiness is augmented when the individual manages to gently coerce another into completely losing it as well. They say that misery loves company, and that goes the same for those who become happy via being crotchety. Nothing is more fun that seeing someone go from “straight-laced easy-going individual” to “rabid spider-monkey with a bad case of hemorrhoids”. The success of the Tom Green show wasn’t a fluke (and you should all be ashamed of yourselves. You know who you are.).

As for being cosmically screwed, you really can’t fight that. Sometimes it comes in time to add more fuel to the fire, and the other times it comes it only…adds more fuel to the fire. It is my own personal belief that someone is handing us cues to become more “humble” and “teachable”. Either way, I’m still cosmically screwed. Honestly, who gets sick, then audited, then a fifty-dollar parking ticket, all in the course of an hour and a half on a Sunday? Throw in a good kick to the groin, and you’ve got yourself a stew goin’.

Well, that’s about the end of my ramblings today. All this venting has made me more calm and serene; and there are plenty of things wrong with that.