This is why you proofread. *UPDATED*

Oh wow. You never know how incredibly ridiculous wedding announcements will get. I thought I had seen them all, poorly designed, poorly worded. But nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for what we got in the mail a little bit ago. Yes, this happy young couple sent this photo out to everyone that they know.

I've also posted the rest of the announcement on my Flickr Account. I've scoured the whole thing and no, there is absolutely no reason for that lighthouse to be there. No such maritime imagry on the rest of the thing. I shake my head increduoulsly at humanity. Once again, we have topped ourselves.

Update - We tracked down the e-mail address of the designer of the above atrocity. I'm not going to suggest what one could do with the e-mail address, but here it is anyway His name is Delwin Davenport. DAV02001@BYUI.EDU

Jake, I've finally converted. I love Get Fuzzy.

I sat down and read an entire book today, 'say cheesy' and finally, I see what you saw the whole time.

Miss Teskie Pictures!

Well, last night was the Valhalla of pyrotechnics for me. I attended the Pioneer Day Miss Teskie event, hosted by DTJ and the rest of the Teskie crew. It was great, lightning storms aplenty, food, friendly people and of course, fire. Lots and lots of fire. Trent even let me do a Teskie. I was nervous at first, but boy, it was straight nectar. I've posted about 20 highlight pics on my Flickr account here. Enjoy! (Next time you all should really come)

Cowabunga Dudes!

New Ninja Turtles movie!

I miss Stella so much!

So darn much!

It's Teskie Time!

It's Miss Teskie time! Come celebrate the Saints' entrance into their temporary Promised Land with fireworks, barbeque, friends, and fire!

What's a Miss Teskie, you ask? To truly understand a Teskie, you must experience it yourself. Like the Matrix. However, a small fraction of its majesty can be witnessed here:

Teskie photos and movies

E-mail me at treymoney@gmail.com if you're interested in coming!

J.G. Wentworth Representative Is Illogical and Rude

So you have seen those incredulously horrible ads on the television for J.G. Wentworth and Associates, right? Every time one has come on I have wondered if they were homemade and if J.G. Wentworth was some sort of small startup-type company here locally. If you haven't seen the ads, check the link above and you'll see what I mean. Pure filthy crap. The runny kind. From a purely cinematic and aesthetic aspect, these ads are atrocious. Horrible inconsistent sound and lighting, color correction is radically different between shots, there are light stands in the shots, etc. Completely unprofessional in my opinion. Maybe that's their strategy so that people can remember who they are, but it's a calculated risk, sacrificing professionalism for brand placement. Anyway, I got online today and looked them up to see if they're local, because it's a potential client for me. Every time I see one I wonder why I'm not making their commercials (Like that crappy Kill Bill Benihana commercial). Heck, every time I see one I wonder why Lassie isn't making their commercials.

It turns out that they're based out of, I think, Pennsylvania. So I was like, 'heck, let's give 'em a call'. So I dial the 800 number and representative 'Matt' answers the phone.

(The dialogue isn't completely verbatim, but I'll do the best that I can. So this is a disclaimer. I may be putting some words into the mouth of our good friend Matt, but most of this transcript is accurate. So, this is my official legal disclaimer.)

Matt: Thanks for calling J.G. Wentworth. My name is Matt. How can I help you?
Me: Yeah, I was just calling about your advertisements.
Matt: Yeah what about them?
Me: Well, (long pause) I was wondering if I could do your advertising for you.
Matt: Well do you have a background in marketing or advertising.
Me: Well, sorta, yeah. But that's not so much my point as that every time I see one on TV, they're so poorly made-
Matt: Well, I think they're really effective. It got you on the phone didn't you?
Me: Well yeah-
Matt: And I'm talking to you right now right?
Me: Yeah-
Matt: And it could be a marketing strategy.
Me: Yeah, and that's what I was wondering if you were making really bad commercials on purpose to help-
Matt: What about them is so bad.
Me: Well, they're so poorly made. The-
Matt: Well I think they're very effective. It got you to call didn't it?
Me: Well, yeah. But I'm not so much calling about structured settlements. I'm calling about how bad your ads are. Every time I see one on TV, they're so poorly made it infuriates me.
Matt: Well I think that they're very effective and (This is an exact quote) if everyone was as easily manipulated as you, we'd be a whole lot richer than we are now.
Me: Wow. (Laughs) You just said that. (Laughs again). That's awesome.
Matt: (Hangs up)

Now I speculate that Matt with his fast talking and cutting me off every two words thinks that he 'won' the phone call, but his logic didn't make any sense. Yeah, I may have crossed the line but saying that the ads 'infuriate me', and yeah, J.G. Wentworth is so rich and all, but they just paid for that phone call.

I am not obsessed with pro-wrestling...

And I haven't watched it for about 5 years.

But this has to be posted.

In the spirit on Nacho Libre, here are the least intimidating luchadores

The mask of Lucha Libre star Histeria, a successful mask.

1) The Student

2) Darth Vader

3) Halloween

4) Curry Man

5) The Masked Canadian

Jon's Vacation: Day 12

Almost done with writing the movie. (Well, the storyline)

Oh, and my lower back is killing me. It's been killing me for a week. Does anyone know a cute girl who'd be willing to massage it for me?

Jon's Vacation: Days 10 & 11

A little holiday photo essay for you all. Our stake throws a 4th of July pancake breakfast every year. So I brought the camera and saw what I could see. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was out, even at 8:30 in the morning. Don't worry though. I took a nap when I got home. : )












Patriotic kid asking about the flag in the man's shirt pocket.













My not so little brother and my dad and his huge straw (He made it out of a flag. Is that legal?)











Now the same kid is getting stories about how the krauts made a run on gramps.









My mom hates getting her picture taken. : )











Yours truly. I think I'm squinting, but I can't really tell. : )

Jon's Vacation: Day 9

'Jon, I miss you.' Ah, my fantasy girlfriend, Audrey Tautou. (So cute.)

Man, my vacation is over half over. It's kinda strange being on the downside to a great and relaxing trip. You know it feels when you're taking a test and you have like, 10 questions left, and like 25 minutes left to do them in, which is more than enough time but you stress about it anyway? That's how I feel right now about my vacation. I've got like, 5 days left.

I got to hold a three day old baby today. One of my friends just had it cute as punch. It's amazing how tiny babies are. I was so nervous (cause I didn't want to drop it, cough on it, etc. It's a girl by the way, Kaiah). But she was just sleeping away, cute as can be. Truly the whole power to create life business is a miracle. I just can't hardly fathom a little soul being in there. (Actual picture of the wee babe, taken by yours truly)

Oh yeah. An update for everyone. From now on, the term, 'fake girlfriend' is not to be used. It comes off as sort of condescending. It has now been changed to 'mock girlfriend' until further notice. (Personally, I enjoyed 'pretend girlfriend').

Jon's Vacation: Day 8

How incredibly cool am I? Well, maybe just sworda cool. Get it? Get it?

Anyway. So, there's home construction today. We're tiling the back patio, becuase my dad apparently has this mediterranian island paradise vision for our back yard. I think it'll be nice. So that went on for a while.

Then I made some amazing salad for a dinner we were invited to by the family of my brother's best friend. (Ask me for the recipe)

Anyway, thought of the day. Isn't it amazing how blessings pour out when you least expect them? But when they come they always come at a time when you didn't really notice you needed them, but upon reflection, holy crap, it would have been so hard without them. Okay, that was as clear as mud. To elucidate, an example. So, my family isn't one that anyone would call 'rich'. We're comfortable. We're in the middle class. But we have many expenses, like two kids in college, three cars (two in CA and one in UT) and oh yeah, my sister is getting married. That's a big one. So, we get by.

Well, randomly, I get this letter in the mail from BYU today, and 'hey Jon, you get a half-tuition scholarship next year'. How nice is that? Completely unexpected. I mean, I apply, but I never get anything. I'm pretty sure the FAFSA means F- All of the Freaking Stupid Asians. Or Financial Assistance Fakery for people born Somewhere not America. But yeah. And my beloved TTE program gave me a quarter tuition assistance because I'm student teaching. That's (counts) ..three quarters assistance! Really, it's humbling.

It would have been a pinch on my dad any myself who work to the bone already (me not as much as my dad, cause let's face it, I work but not so much for money- apparently I like to give it away.) to get through the next year. I also am aware that there a whole lot of other students who are struggling much harder than I who are probably more righteous than I who probably deserve it more than I. Yet I get the letter. I don't know why such mercies are given me, but I'll accept them with gratitude. I really think that the net effect of blessings like these (blessings without too much immediate reason) is humility.

I think that certain behaviors are manifestations of certain traits. This isn't always without exception, but are good measures to judge by. For example, charity I think is manifested a lot by personal sacrifice. Love, by patience. Faith by action and humility by gratitude. A humble man sees him self as he really is with respect to the majesty of God and His plan. It's eye-opening to realize how much mercy we receive on a daily basis. I feel that God humbles people in two ways: He destroys them, or He shows them mercy. How thankful I am that our Father is a merciful God.

It makes me think to my favorite part of the Pearl of Great Price which is the Oliver Cowdry note at the end of JSH. The one that starts with “These were days never to be forgotten". This is the whole quote. “These were days never to be forgotten—to sit under the sound of a voice dictated by the inspiration of heaven, awakened the utmost gratitude of this bosom!" I see a humbled man who is realizing that he is literally writing God's words. I wonder sometimes if he even saw the massive scope of the undertakings in which he was working. I can't comprehend it myself. But what it came down to, what he wrote, was that he was thankful. Humbling, eh?

So, here's to being grateful. All I can really do is work on becoming more humble, work hard and help as many people as I can. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top three. If anyone else can think of more to add to the list, feel free. : )

Still missing my friends though. (And I have no favorites.) But Strawberries and Ice Cream are doing a good job of replacing them.

Jon's Vacation: Day 7

Trendsetter or dweeb? You decide. (Getting fitted for a tux)

So it has only taken one week for my complete and totaly vacation to turn into a mission to help my sisters wedding crap get done. It's not like I don't want to help or anything, but shoot. I left Provo to get away from people asking me to do things all the time. *sigh* Anyway. Really, I'm not that resentful.

So today I spent 4 hours printing reception and RSVP cards. But I also went shopping for a new light grey suit which would be so hot. But to no avail. Santa Maria just isn't a suit town. Well, so says the kindly old hispanic man who fitted me for a tux today. He says its a cow town. I wonder if he was talking about the agriculture or the women.... kidding, kidding.

Wrote a lot more of the movie tonight. Right now I'm embroiled into the seedy mystery part. It's kinda sweet. Oh yeah, and for dessert. You guessed it, a heaping bowl of freshly sliced California strawberries perched upon a bed of the finest Thrifty's vanilla ice cream.

I'm starting to miss all of my friends.